some new year's excitement

I just received a letter from the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance saying I owe $5,873.63 in back taxes. Apparently I failed to pay taxes in 2004.

Shit.

Oh wait. I DIDN'T LIVE IN NEW YORK IN 2004.

Way to go, NY. I'm so glad that this is where your energy and resources are going. New Yorkers, be proud.

This is almost better than the time North Dakota suspended my driving privileges due to my (allegedly) not having had insurance at the time of the accident in which I totalled my then-boyfriend's car (sorry 'bout that, again...). (Incidentally, that accident happened exactly three years and five days ago. Also, it was not my fault. Really.)

They waited almost a year to decide that I hadn't had insurance and that I was no longer allowed to drive in their fair state. Now, I know you're thinking "So?" but really, who knows when you might need to drive across the northern plains, and it would be just my luck to find myself driving through North Dakota twenty years from now and get pulled over and oops! did you know your driving privileges were suspended? And then I rot in jail in North Dakota. No thank you.

Naturally, I responded to the State of North Dakota and reminded them that actually yes, I did have insurance, and if I hadn't, don't you think I would have been cited at the time by your friendly state trooper? To which they basically said "oh, right" and we agreed to forget the whole thing.

I will now fight the NY Dept of Taxation with the same brilliant argument, which I like to call "logic." You're darn right I didn't pay taxes there in 2004, and no, I'm not about to pay you that $6,000 now. But thanks for the momentary heart attack. Happy New Year to you too.