I just received a letter from the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance saying I owe $5,873.63 in back taxes. Apparently I failed to pay taxes in 2004.
Shit.
Oh wait. I DIDN'T LIVE IN NEW YORK IN 2004.
Way to go, NY. I'm so glad that this is where your energy and resources are going. New Yorkers, be proud.
This is almost better than the time North Dakota suspended my driving privileges due to my (allegedly) not having had insurance at the time of the accident in which I totalled my then-boyfriend's car (sorry 'bout that, again...). (Incidentally, that accident happened exactly three years and five days ago. Also, it was not my fault. Really.)
They waited almost a year to decide that I hadn't had insurance and that I was no longer allowed to drive in their fair state. Now, I know you're thinking "So?" but really, who knows when you might need to drive across the northern plains, and it would be just my luck to find myself driving through North Dakota twenty years from now and get pulled over and oops! did you know your driving privileges were suspended? And then I rot in jail in North Dakota. No thank you.
Naturally, I responded to the State of North Dakota and reminded them that actually yes, I did have insurance, and if I hadn't, don't you think I would have been cited at the time by your friendly state trooper? To which they basically said "oh, right" and we agreed to forget the whole thing.
I will now fight the NY Dept of Taxation with the same brilliant argument, which I like to call "logic." You're darn right I didn't pay taxes there in 2004, and no, I'm not about to pay you that $6,000 now. But thanks for the momentary heart attack. Happy New Year to you too.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
stickler (i.e. dork) (i.e. bored)
On the list of minor quotidian annoyances, most of us would probably include "being put on hold to wait for customer service." And being forced to listen to some hideous music designed to make you regret attempting your phone call in the first place. (Though, trust me, whatever you are hearing is better than the hold music of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service, to whose hold music I lost at least three months of my life in 2003-04. I can still hum it from memory.)
But honestly the thing that annoys me more than awful hold music - and I know this will make a few of you nod in agreement and many more of you start to reconsider our friendship - is the recorded message that my "call will be answered in the order it was received."
I do not claim to be the Grammar God (I'm pretty sure the title is already taken by at least three of my close relatives), but please? "In which"? "Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received"... It wouldn't take that much more breath or time to say, and it would just make that sentence so much more... complete-sentence-like.
Oh, wait, I just discovered something yet more annoying [what, you didn't realize I have been on hold waiting for customer service this whole time?]: being on hold long enough to write most of a blog post, just to have another computer voice tell me that all customer service representatives are at a meeting all day today and there is actually no one there to answer my call. Why it took the computer 15 minutes to realize and share that information, I'm not sure.
But I'm not to worry. I am to leave my name and phone number, and someone will get back to me in the order it was received. Oh good.
But honestly the thing that annoys me more than awful hold music - and I know this will make a few of you nod in agreement and many more of you start to reconsider our friendship - is the recorded message that my "call will be answered in the order it was received."
I do not claim to be the Grammar God (I'm pretty sure the title is already taken by at least three of my close relatives), but please? "In which"? "Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received"... It wouldn't take that much more breath or time to say, and it would just make that sentence so much more... complete-sentence-like.
Oh, wait, I just discovered something yet more annoying [what, you didn't realize I have been on hold waiting for customer service this whole time?]: being on hold long enough to write most of a blog post, just to have another computer voice tell me that all customer service representatives are at a meeting all day today and there is actually no one there to answer my call. Why it took the computer 15 minutes to realize and share that information, I'm not sure.
But I'm not to worry. I am to leave my name and phone number, and someone will get back to me in the order it was received. Oh good.
Monday, December 15, 2008
poster boy
As if we needed the world to be more ticked off at the effects of American greed and corruption on the world economy, we now have Bernard Madoff bringing down European investment banks single-handedly. Thanks, Bernie.
Apparently a lot of people invested in Madoff's scheme through their financial advisors. The NY Times reports that "investors are now questioning whether these paid advisers were diligent enough in investigating Mr. Madoff to ensure that their money was safe."
Right. I'm gonna go with "no" on that one. I think maybe the "diligent enough" part is automatically negated by the "$50 billion Ponzi scheme" part. Call me picky.
(And by that I mean: For Christ's sake, people, is that actually a question? May I suggest that you think of your lost money as a tax on being dumb.)
Let's be honest here. Madoff isn't that much of an outlier. You don't have to run a Ponzi scheme (or try to sell a U.S. Senate seat) to be corrupt. A bunch of people are skimming millions (billions?) from Wall Street, it's just that they've managed to get it codified as salaries and bonuses and convince the public that anyone deserves to earn that amount of money. And it's not enough that they get paid while Rome burns, they actually want to get paid for setting it on fire. All this while they sell out their companies, cut jobs, and pay no mind to their laid-off employees who have to survive now on unemployment... except oops! we've run out of that money too.
Madoff cooked his books and sold people fairy dust in order to bilk them of billions of dollars, sure, but I really don't see that much of a difference between that and what the rest of the Wall Street big men have done. Except that he'll go to jail, while they just have to settle for a few million less in their bonus check this year. *Sniff*
If the government were to get serious about cleaning up this mess, which I'm not optimistic about, I think they should cap CEO salaries, make most bonuses illegal, and require that all that newfound money go to shore up unemployment benefits, food pantries and homeless shelters. Merry Christmas.
Apparently a lot of people invested in Madoff's scheme through their financial advisors. The NY Times reports that "investors are now questioning whether these paid advisers were diligent enough in investigating Mr. Madoff to ensure that their money was safe."
Right. I'm gonna go with "no" on that one. I think maybe the "diligent enough" part is automatically negated by the "$50 billion Ponzi scheme" part. Call me picky.
(And by that I mean: For Christ's sake, people, is that actually a question? May I suggest that you think of your lost money as a tax on being dumb.)
Let's be honest here. Madoff isn't that much of an outlier. You don't have to run a Ponzi scheme (or try to sell a U.S. Senate seat) to be corrupt. A bunch of people are skimming millions (billions?) from Wall Street, it's just that they've managed to get it codified as salaries and bonuses and convince the public that anyone deserves to earn that amount of money. And it's not enough that they get paid while Rome burns, they actually want to get paid for setting it on fire. All this while they sell out their companies, cut jobs, and pay no mind to their laid-off employees who have to survive now on unemployment... except oops! we've run out of that money too.
Madoff cooked his books and sold people fairy dust in order to bilk them of billions of dollars, sure, but I really don't see that much of a difference between that and what the rest of the Wall Street big men have done. Except that he'll go to jail, while they just have to settle for a few million less in their bonus check this year. *Sniff*
If the government were to get serious about cleaning up this mess, which I'm not optimistic about, I think they should cap CEO salaries, make most bonuses illegal, and require that all that newfound money go to shore up unemployment benefits, food pantries and homeless shelters. Merry Christmas.
Friday, December 12, 2008
contemplation
First, let me say that I do have light and heat in spite of last night's ice storm, and apparently I'm very lucky on both those counts.
I'm also apparently lucky in that I have not recently been threatened by rabid semi-aquatic fish-eating mammals.
Moving on...
Here I am, sitting at home at 9:30pm on a Friday night. Now, I'd like to think I wouldn't be sitting at home if it weren't for the fact that I'm on call for work. And it really is quite possible, since there were several enticing options for evening activities today... though, OK, I admit that as usual when I can't quite decide what to do, the idea of staying home was already gaining momentum when the work phone rang and made the decision easy.
Truth is, I think that (knock on wood) I'm fairly close to finished with grad school essays and being able to pull together the whole darn thing and send it off. Today I got the third and final (and longest) essay to a point at which I was actually ready to send it to a few people for comments. It's not quite "there" yet but it's finally close. As I said to one of my essay readers, I feel like I've dragged the thing kicking and screaming this far, if in fact an essay can kick and scream (and it sure feels like it).
And I am totally at loose ends. I've been living and breathing grad school applications for the better part of three months now. What did I do before that? Sure, there are a few things I want to and should be doing - practicing my bass, reading some good books, catching up on emails and phone calls and volunteer projects, getting back into yoga... and anything else that does not allow for massive time-frittering on the internet (she said to the internet), which is quite the hazard of sitting with a laptop on my lap all the time. And I know I will get back to those much more important things, slowly but surely.
I will admit, too, that I have occasionally enjoyed having a good excuse to stay home over the past few months. There has long been a tension in my life of being simultaneously an introvert and an extrovert, and introversion tends to win out particularly at this darkening time of year, and when I'm tired and stressed. I do love people; I just don't necessarily want to be around them.
Yet, I suck at sitting at home and being truly sequestered. Or I don't suck at it; I'm just massively out of practice.
I recall being quite the busy woman before this grad school project took over my life and free time. What was I doing? Where did it go? And why am I so bad at being unscheduled? Why am I totally freaked out by the idea of soon having a lot more free time?
I know, I know: that's dumb. I will look back someday and desperately wish for this problem. I'm not actually complaining, just being introspective (in writing. on the internet.) and rather frustrated with myself. It could certainly be worse. I could be defending my unlit, unheated home from rabid otters with a lacrosse stick.
I'm also apparently lucky in that I have not recently been threatened by rabid semi-aquatic fish-eating mammals.
Moving on...
Here I am, sitting at home at 9:30pm on a Friday night. Now, I'd like to think I wouldn't be sitting at home if it weren't for the fact that I'm on call for work. And it really is quite possible, since there were several enticing options for evening activities today... though, OK, I admit that as usual when I can't quite decide what to do, the idea of staying home was already gaining momentum when the work phone rang and made the decision easy.
Truth is, I think that (knock on wood) I'm fairly close to finished with grad school essays and being able to pull together the whole darn thing and send it off. Today I got the third and final (and longest) essay to a point at which I was actually ready to send it to a few people for comments. It's not quite "there" yet but it's finally close. As I said to one of my essay readers, I feel like I've dragged the thing kicking and screaming this far, if in fact an essay can kick and scream (and it sure feels like it).
And I am totally at loose ends. I've been living and breathing grad school applications for the better part of three months now. What did I do before that? Sure, there are a few things I want to and should be doing - practicing my bass, reading some good books, catching up on emails and phone calls and volunteer projects, getting back into yoga... and anything else that does not allow for massive time-frittering on the internet (she said to the internet), which is quite the hazard of sitting with a laptop on my lap all the time. And I know I will get back to those much more important things, slowly but surely.
I will admit, too, that I have occasionally enjoyed having a good excuse to stay home over the past few months. There has long been a tension in my life of being simultaneously an introvert and an extrovert, and introversion tends to win out particularly at this darkening time of year, and when I'm tired and stressed. I do love people; I just don't necessarily want to be around them.
Yet, I suck at sitting at home and being truly sequestered. Or I don't suck at it; I'm just massively out of practice.
I recall being quite the busy woman before this grad school project took over my life and free time. What was I doing? Where did it go? And why am I so bad at being unscheduled? Why am I totally freaked out by the idea of soon having a lot more free time?
I know, I know: that's dumb. I will look back someday and desperately wish for this problem. I'm not actually complaining, just being introspective (in writing. on the internet.) and rather frustrated with myself. It could certainly be worse. I could be defending my unlit, unheated home from rabid otters with a lacrosse stick.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
shock and awe
The NY Times would have you believe that even Illinoisans were shocked at just how corrupt the governor turned out to be. As a semi-Illinoisan, I don't buy it.
They're shocked in that way that makes you laugh out loud in amazement when someone shows you that the extremely low expectations you had for them turn out to be still too high. Shocked like when six of the teenage girl's friends already died because they went into the basement in the horror movie, and then she goes downstairs too, because she really is just that dumb, even when there was all that screaming and blood and creepy music that might make a rational person think twice.
Yes, Rod Blagojevich is the ditzy teenage girl getting hacked to death. This was totally coming.
They're shocked in that way that makes you laugh out loud in amazement when someone shows you that the extremely low expectations you had for them turn out to be still too high. Shocked like when six of the teenage girl's friends already died because they went into the basement in the horror movie, and then she goes downstairs too, because she really is just that dumb, even when there was all that screaming and blood and creepy music that might make a rational person think twice.
Yes, Rod Blagojevich is the ditzy teenage girl getting hacked to death. This was totally coming.
disturbing
I hadn't realized until now that the phrase "the best and the brightest" was coined to be ironic.
And now history might be repeating itself.
Speaking of disturbing, it is really disturbing that Lawrence Summers is heading up Obama's economic team. Not just because he seems to think women are less capable in math and science than men (though Kim Gandy, President of NOW, poses the very interesting question whether "if [Summers'] comments about women's lack of aptitude for math and science had instead been a comment or an opinion about African Americans having less capacity for math and science, would he be on anybody's short-list?"). And not just because he's generally considered to be a total prick. But mostly because he played a significant part in creating the mess we're in now.
As Naomi Klein points out, there is quite a bit of "intellectual dishonesty" in parts of the Left about when the groundwork was laid for the current economic crisis. Calling it the Bush administration's fault sounds good in an election campaign, and certainly the last eight years have been completely disastrous for this country.
But c'mon guys. Deregulation really started rolling under Clinton. And who ran the Treasury under Clinton? Robert Rubin (who is now eating crow over at Citigroup) and... Larry Summers.
It's not that he failed to forsee the complete implosion of the economy. HE HELPED CAUSE IT.
And this is the guy Obama is going to be turning to for advice? Pardon me if I'm not overwhelmed with optimism.
And now history might be repeating itself.
Speaking of disturbing, it is really disturbing that Lawrence Summers is heading up Obama's economic team. Not just because he seems to think women are less capable in math and science than men (though Kim Gandy, President of NOW, poses the very interesting question whether "if [Summers'] comments about women's lack of aptitude for math and science had instead been a comment or an opinion about African Americans having less capacity for math and science, would he be on anybody's short-list?"). And not just because he's generally considered to be a total prick. But mostly because he played a significant part in creating the mess we're in now.
As Naomi Klein points out, there is quite a bit of "intellectual dishonesty" in parts of the Left about when the groundwork was laid for the current economic crisis. Calling it the Bush administration's fault sounds good in an election campaign, and certainly the last eight years have been completely disastrous for this country.
But c'mon guys. Deregulation really started rolling under Clinton. And who ran the Treasury under Clinton? Robert Rubin (who is now eating crow over at Citigroup) and... Larry Summers.
It's not that he failed to forsee the complete implosion of the economy. HE HELPED CAUSE IT.
And this is the guy Obama is going to be turning to for advice? Pardon me if I'm not overwhelmed with optimism.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
in case you skipped the ny times this weekend
Several times as I read this weekend's NY Times I have found myself saying "Wow! Really?" So, I'm suggesting you read about:
1) Socially sanctioned transgender folks in rural southern Mexico.
2) The need for extremely careful, yet bold, decisions about the spending of all this fiscal stimulus money (yes, another I-can't-believe-how-much-I-now-like-Thomas Friedman column).
3) Bill Ayer's first major public statement about himself and the attempts to demonize him during the presidential campaign.
And, as long as we're on the subject of major breaking news, our local high school marching band is going to march in the inauguration parade, and I think that's pretty cool. They're a damn good band, actually.
Other breaking news: I think my new favorite thing is the chai shortbread cookies I made for a potluck today, the leftovers of which I'm hiding from myself until I go to work tomorrow and get my coworkers to eat them so that I won't.
And speaking of coworkers, I work with rock stars! I went to a local production of Puccini's short opera, "Suor Angelica," today - yes! We had a local opera production! - in which two of my coworkers had significant parts, and they blew me away. So I guess by "rock stars" I mean "amazing opera singers" which is pretty much the same thing, I'm sure you agree.
And that was my Sunday. The perfect day, if only it weren't succeeded by Monday.
1) Socially sanctioned transgender folks in rural southern Mexico.
2) The need for extremely careful, yet bold, decisions about the spending of all this fiscal stimulus money (yes, another I-can't-believe-how-much-I-now-like-Thomas Friedman column).
3) Bill Ayer's first major public statement about himself and the attempts to demonize him during the presidential campaign.
And, as long as we're on the subject of major breaking news, our local high school marching band is going to march in the inauguration parade, and I think that's pretty cool. They're a damn good band, actually.
Other breaking news: I think my new favorite thing is the chai shortbread cookies I made for a potluck today, the leftovers of which I'm hiding from myself until I go to work tomorrow and get my coworkers to eat them so that I won't.
And speaking of coworkers, I work with rock stars! I went to a local production of Puccini's short opera, "Suor Angelica," today - yes! We had a local opera production! - in which two of my coworkers had significant parts, and they blew me away. So I guess by "rock stars" I mean "amazing opera singers" which is pretty much the same thing, I'm sure you agree.
And that was my Sunday. The perfect day, if only it weren't succeeded by Monday.
Friday, December 5, 2008
and a youtube clip shall lead them
Something called the Churches Advertising Network (leave it to the Brits) apparently ran a competition for the best retelling of the Christmas story in under 30 seconds. I highly recommend that you peruse the winning entries, especially the special commendation, which is actually my favorite.
p.s. Did you know that "peruse" actually means "to examine carefully or closely"? I was ready for it, but it didn't come up on the GRE. I did OK anyway, wheeee! I also learned that "hell" can be defined as "a place in which you have to do the GRE math test for all eternity." And if Jews believed in hell, I would now be very, very good for the rest of my days on this earth.
p.s. Did you know that "peruse" actually means "to examine carefully or closely"? I was ready for it, but it didn't come up on the GRE. I did OK anyway, wheeee! I also learned that "hell" can be defined as "a place in which you have to do the GRE math test for all eternity." And if Jews believed in hell, I would now be very, very good for the rest of my days on this earth.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Odetta, R.I.P.
"And you reach a fork in the road and you can either lie down and die, or insist upon your life.”
Ohh, she will be missed.
Ohh, she will be missed.
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