p.s.

No, that last post was actually not a veiled admission of romantic attraction. How fascinating that it seems to have been understood that way, at least by some people.

On some TV screen somewhere in the world right now Harry and Sally are arguing about whether [heterosexual] men and women can truly be friends or if sexual desire will always get in the way.* This is a fairly (in)famous and long-running debate. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder why those two things are generally posited as mutually exclusive.

Among the random things I enjoy mulling over is the concept of attraction, and the very narrow meaning we generally assign the term as opposed to what it actually describes. Am I attracted to the Space Cowboy? Absolutely. Am I attracted to other friends of mine, dancers I pass in a contra line, new people on a daily basis? Yes, indeed. I'm attracted to some people to whom I'm related (and I'm not particularly attracted to some others). I'm attracted to musicians and writers I know only through their work. Hell, I'm attracted to plenty of musicians and writers who have been dead for a while.

What is attraction? Have you ever really thought about this? Ultimately isn't it just that pull, the mysterious combination of interaction + instinct + pheromones/aura/whatever that sparks your interest in knowing someone and spending time with them? It certainly doesn't have to refer to romance and/or sex, though of course it could. Or (in my weird little dancing subculture) it could be the Dance Floor Crush, which generally involves a strong desire to interact with someone on the dance floor as much as possible, and sometimes even involves the desire to interact with them off the dance floor, or even outside the dance hall altogether. Or it could be meeting a kindred spirit who you just know you want to become friends with.

I guess the fairy tale is feeling all of those kinds of attraction at the same time toward one person, and finding it mutual. And in an extra-super-perfect world, the timing (and *ahem* geography) would be right too. (How many decades did it take Harry and Sally?)

But that's just one kind of relationship, and there are too many others that I need and want in my life for me to devote time to pining or looking for just that one. I'd rather spend time creating and exploring the other kinds. Like the kind where a favorite dance partner turns out to be someone with whom you also enjoy sitting by a woodstove and talking about life, without insinuation or innuendo.

(Apparently those only come in later, when people read about it on your blog.)

*Wow, that's the second movie reference I've made here. Recently. If you have ever made a movie reference in my presence and watched it sail far over my head, you understand how impressive this is.